Why?

Why did I start this blog? Simple. I have random thoughts and sometimes, I think I need to write them down. Nothing but the desire to type out what I feel, yet why did I choose a public medium like blogspot in order to do this? Well, maybe you might like what I write, or maybe you hate it. Either way, I'm writing it because I have these thoughts that truly take control of my mind and sometimes I want to write them down. If you don't want to read my ramblings, then why the hell did you click the link? Sue me if I'm being too harsh, but... f*ck you.

Anyways, so basically each blog is going to come randomly based on these things.
1.) how much free time I have
2.) If I feel like typing
3.) What I feel like writing about that day
4.) What happened that day.

So, you can see that this blog is completely impulsive, has no regular timeline, and in essence, isn't something you can depend. But then again, what can we depend on in life? Here begins my thoughts for my day today. After being accepted into UCLA, I truly believe that any and all things are possible. Based on my GPA and my extracurricular stuff, I still didn't think that I would get in. I'm truly sorry for those of you who didn't get in, but honestly whatever school you get into/rejected from/ actually end up going to is part of the design of life, so... f*ck it. Anyways, after getting into UCLA and seeing that I'm actually worth something (here begins my self-pity/low self esteem/overall down-ness) I see that even the things that you least expect or even hope for can happen. This is where my second topic on my day today begins. I have been thinking about the topic of "love" for a while now. After losing a father who married the first woman who he felt a remote connection with and having a child and then abandoning both for America and true love, and then having two children with the woman he thought he "loved" and then divorcing them because he loved alcohol and feeling bad for himself more than that, I really question the idea of love.

What is love? We write sh*tty songs about it, buy flowers for it, have a damn holiday for it, basically everything for "love." Yet in this love, how do we know what true love is? Here's my take on "love." Love is something that chooses for you, you don't choose it. My father told me that, and to this day, I wonder... did love ever choose for you? Apparently so, because I still hear my mom talk about how hurt she is that you are gone... Anyways that is a whole other topic for a whole other dimension. Back to the point, love is an enigma of sorts. You search for it, then you lose it. Some people never find it. We long for it, and it teases us with a girl/boy who we think is perfect, then you realize after some point, he/she is everything but perfect. You think you love someone, then you realize you don't, then you have a terrible break-up. But, I'm not saying we shouldn't date at all, or shouldn't have relationships with those we are infatuated with. In fact, what I'm saying is that we should embrace the idea of dating. We should meet as many people as we can, and then after meeting x amount of girls, we might actually stumble upon the one we are meant to be with. But, it's that experience, that get together and then breakup that shows us who we should and should not be with. So, how do we know? How do we freaking beat this unending cycle of excitement, jubilance, sadness, realization? The answer- you don't.

You don't because I truly think, again maybe because I'm a hopeless romantic, that when it's love... you know that from the moment you see that person. You know that no matter what happens, you'll always love that person. You might meet someone just like that person, but the fact of the matter is, it's not the same person who you know you love. Even if that person doesn't feel the same way at first, if even they have a slight attraction to you, you own the responsibility to make that person feel the same. Through the environment of dating, woo-ing, flowers, romantic walks till the sun falls, the whole f*cking she-bang, that person will realize that you are the one. I'm scared to post this blog, but they say alcohol is the truth serum/confidence booster... so here goes nothing. I don't know, maybe I'm just being stupid because I am not completely sober... but honestly, screw you if you judge me. If you hate me, then I'm sorry, don't read this f*cking blog.

Peace, Love, Truth,
Andy Tang